Score: 7

"Why two versions."

submission: TTC 2010 (casual version)

date: November 19, 2009

I guess my first question is why you would release two versions of ostensibly the same work.

Bass drum feels very overpowering in this one. It literally buries your other percussion.

I like the piano lead a lot. I wish it had some more time to speak. The little glitches in the arps near the end don't translate as well with this instrumentation, I think.

Again though, it feels like the length is fighting you here. It's like you've just started touching on some tension and then the song's over and it resolves. I want to hear you push forward with those ideas for a while.

I also think this work could benefit a little from some study into silence. It's a solid minute of those arps running, with no rests or breaks.

So I guess what I'd like to see with this is:

- Extend it. Push into some tension and dissonance for a while
- Revisit your percussion/mixing. Four on the floor gets old quick
- Play with silence, or at least relative silence. Maybe give that piano lead some time to speak by itself, let those arps fade away. Some kind of variation. It just feels like you've crammed all of this into a very short period of time and it'd be more comfortable with some breathing space.

There's a lot of good stuff here, so don't take this as overly negative.

Score: 6

"Seems a bit short."

submission: TTC 2010 (hypernet version)

date: November 19, 2009

I think some of your lead instruments could definitely come forward in the mix. They seem pretty well buried under that arppegiated synth, and it makes it pretty tough to really hear what's going on overall.

Aside from that it just seems so short that there's no time for a whole lot to be happening.

I'd like to hear a differently mixed render of this to see if the feel changes a little. I feel like I have to strain to make out what the melody is doing as it is.

Score: 1

"Ehhh"

submission: Down Inside

date: November 19, 2009

Why an out of tune piano?

Why a giant rest after your intro?

Why a really boomy bass drum and... no other percussion until at least a minute in? There needs to be more than a kick and a hat.

And so you know, slayer is not a guitar. Your first 'guitar' line is really outside the realm of anything I've ever heard in a metal song. Your percussion gets drowned.

The second bit of guitar needs rhythmic variation. The drums need to have some motion.

The lead guitar isn't playing anything of interest. Metal leads tend to involve a fair bit of technical playing, runs up and down, sweep picking and the whole mess.

Constant runs of notes of the same duration are boring. Rhythmic variation.

I guess in the end all I can really say is that there are ways to fake a heavy metal song without guitars. This isn't one of them. If you're really interested in writing songs in that style, listen to some music, and then find one of the many guitarists in the AF to play it for you. I'd be more than willing to give you a guitar track or two.

Score: 7

"Pretty good."

submission: Spanish_Guitar [Box-Killa]

date: November 3, 2009

Track was a bit boomy, how did you mic this? There's a definite overall lack of 'sparkle', or top end.

Reverb felt a little heavy to me, like it was kind of drowning the track.

Dynamics might be a bit deep, the heavy strums were quite loud and I lose the quieter passages on the top strings.

Otherwise it's a fine track, definitely catch the 'spanish' feel. Maybe a little aimless at times, perhaps some other instrumentation would help with that.

Score: 7

"well"

submission: Untitled Love Song

date: October 22, 2009

I'm gonna write kind of a technical response here.

First and foremost, there's a huge amount of noise present in the recording. The everpresent hum is likely your computer cooling fan. If the microphone is sitting on a desk that's also holding up your computer, that'll transfer a pretty large amount of noise. Try moving the microphone to its own table. At 1:22 I think I hear someone in the background. That's definitely something you'll want to watch for.

Also be aware of which way the mic is pointed, it's likely a cardioid pattern, which means if you put sources of noise (ie the computer) directly behind the microphone, most of that noise will be 'blocked out.'

Sibilance is a bit much, you might try backing off of the mic (if you're recording in an environment that's not too terribly noisy you can always bring your levels up later with reasonable success). You can also experiment with placement. You don't need to be singing directly into the microphone, front and center, and you can get some good results with an off-axis placement.
It kind of sounds as though you're not really supporting yourself here. That may be intentional based on the content, but I'd like to hear what you can do when you really open up, vocally.

You'll want to experiment a little bit with EQing, to eliminate that slight 'cottony' feel. Play with a small boost or cut, covering an octave or so, and just sweep that up and down. You'll find spots that kind of make your voice feel a little more 'real', and really it all comes down to experimentation. I run live sound for musical theater on a fairly regular basis, and everyone's voice is a little different. It can even change based on what techniques you're using.

I'd definitely look into throwing down some kind of basic accompaniment for future vocal demos, just because it'll make the whole thing quite a bit more 'finished' feeling.

Overall I'd say you were off to a good start, and I look forward to hearing your work.

Score: 8

"A lot of good stuff"

submission: Unmask the Moon-Revisitd Emj09

date: October 16, 2009

Let me first say that this track is put together better than a lot of shit on NG, so kudos for that.

That said, I always feel like submissions that reach as far as this could have reached just a bit farther, so I think I tend to be a little harsher on them. So I'm gonna go ahead and offer my commentary on the track, take it for what it's worth.

Right from the start the rhythm guitar seems to ride a line between totally dry and a bit of reverb, as though maybe there's a bit of room reverb in the signal. I wouldn't mind if it was a bit cleaner, especially considering how far back into the mix it falls.

Snare feels a bit louder than it needs to be.

The chorused electric guitar could have used a little more variety, maybe just something to balance it. Is it panned left? I might be imagining that. If it is, there could be something right to balance it a little. Rhythm guitar, as I said, feels like it falls a bit far back behind the drums and vocals.

Vocals are good, I wouldn't mind a little more 'sparkle' from them, just some of the upper mids. It might be positive to play around with the reverb on them as well, I don't know. Given the overall tone of the piece it might be neat if they were 'bigger'.

I like the solo tone. But 2:30-2:33 the volume on the lead just drops to almost nothing, what's up with that?

Overall it's a really solid submission and worth listening to. I'm definitely gonna check out some of your other stuff.

Score: 3

"Needs quite a bit."

submission: [S] Metal Digga

date: October 15, 2009

I think first and foremost you need to address your recording technique. You don't describe your setup so I can't be more specific, but it's got a lot of room for improvement.

Secondly, you need to find a way to fake up some drums, and bass if possible. The guitar work doesn't really stand on its own.

The guitars could have more interesting rhythms. Your initial guitar is panned way too far right. Solo is too far left.

The guitar tone overall, and especially the solo tone, is incredibly weak. Where's the gain man?

Your solo is BEGGING for some reverb or something so it doesn't feel so flat. Be very attentive to string muting, a lot of your phrases end with string noise. I know that I tend to do nine million takes before I'm satisfied with a track. The solo would benefit from some legato techniques, I think. Overall it feels very uncertain. You've gotta be comfortable with your solo forward and backwards before you commit to it.

Don't take this review in a negative light. There's just a long way to go before I would call this a complete song.

Score: 6

"It's a start."

submission: i'll get there

date: October 13, 2009

There is a long way to go.

Your strings are flat, and somewhat lifeless. Look to add at least a touch of reverb, that alone will take them out of that 'flat studio' feel and put them into a hall of some kind. it will do huge things to improve the realism and feeling of the track.

That said, bring in some other instruments. It's odd to have a full section of strings and... nothing else. A mournful clarinet playing melody over this would be beautiful.

Don't be afraid to introduce more motion in your melody. It's a slow piece, but you don't have to to sit around with the same rhythm and pacing for the entirety of the piece.

Your last chord gets very 'organy', I would suggest you try not to span too many octaves within a single instrument/section, because when you get a lot of instruments with similar tonality playing the same pitches across octaves, it starts to make a statement that I'm not sure fits well with the rest of the piece.

It's a good place to be starting, and once you flesh it out it will be a great piece.

Score: 8

"Goddammit I hate it when i turn into a computer"

submission: SR - Loans is a Computer

date: October 12, 2009

For such a quick work this is definitely a fun listen. Se-se-seven

Score: 9

"Good atmosphere."

submission: There is Static in My Blood

date: October 10, 2009

I love the textures you establish here.

I wouldn't mind a little more variation in the percussion and bass though.

Overall, while I did enjoy a lot of what you did, it felt longer than it needed to be.

Definitely some good stuff going on though.