What you're missing is a lead. Something to carry over and throughout your various staccato elements. Something to really fill the middle range of the track. You've got a rhythm section set up, now build your lead.
I just can't find what I want to lead it with. That's the problem that I'm having with it most.
there's a little bit of discordance ringing throughout, which complements the overall texture very well.
any given part of the song is only superficially distinguishable from any other part, which I think is a good goal for this style. the progression seems logical, while the constant rhythmic accompaniment (minimalistic in nature as it may be) is a common thread ensuring consistency.
I don't know that I have any complaints or criticisms that could be directed at this song, rather than the style. Very nice.
The discordance wasn't actually intended; I just played with what felt right, without rewriting the chord progression a dozen times like I usually do when writing trance. I'm glad you think it works though.
Again, I just went and made music, and let it come as it did. I heard these little repeating melodies in Siney's music, and I knew that worked, so I decided to try and incorporate something similar. I'm happy that that worked.
Yeah it isn't quite metal, ska, or industrial, but I'm glad you enjoyed it either way.
Thanks a lot for the review loans. :)
This really isn't a song so much as a random collection of riffs.
8 measures of the same boring snare/hihat action... twice? I think there's a kick in there but the drums are so poorly recorded I can't hear it. There needs to be some serious variation in the drums. Have him add some fills or something for the love of god.
A bunch of random riffs with no connection thrown together does not make a song, as I said. You need to do something so we're not listening to what are really a few different 4 measure riffs over and over again. It's boring. Add some lead guitar or some vocals or something.
Make sure your shit transitions well instead of just brickwalling into a new part of the song.
Yeah, our recording equipment is total crap and there is a kick, but as mentioned, they're poorly recorded due to the crappy equipment. The next time we rerecord this song, we will add fills and a brand new guitar track. So try and look forward to that.
Not a lot going on, is there
Well, your recording definitely isn't top-notch, right off the bat. The guitar, especially needs some help. It sounds terrible. The drums... were they single-mic? They're very 'roomy' and not mixed well.
Aesthetically your song is pretty far from the heavy metal vibe you seem to be so attached to. The loud, punchy bass intro screams punk to me. The guitar line isn't really very heavy, that said.
The song is -boring-
Nothing happens for so long. You've got a few parts that repeat far too many times to maintain my interest. No lead guitar, no vocals. The track is missing something in a big way.
I seriously think you should tighten this down. This song should be maybe three minutes long with what's going on. That's the biggest thing I can tell you right now.
Yeah, we have some pretty crappy recording equipment. We originally intended to be a heavy metal band, but it seems like we're more in the punk territory. So from now on, we're a punk band. We're gonna improve on this and shorten our songs from now on, also. We might re-record this song in a different way, but the production will still be crap. Thanks for the constructive criticism.
Love the bass groove in this one.
The 'breaks' offer just enough silence to make one go '...well?' and then continue right on with the track. Excellent.
Love the 'aimless' feel of the lead synth.
Excellent texture all around.
There's not much I can nitpick about, as I so love doing. I think the only thing that stands out is the reverb on the clap. It felt like a bit much at times.
hey thank you for pointing out the breaks, because when I first thought of that concept, my first thought was "holy shit, I must be a friggin genius" and then I wrote this song which is based around it.
Thanks for the review man.
When I stumble across a voice demo I try to review it because nearly all of them share a number of issues, mostly technical in nature.
In yours we run into the classic problems with breath/mouth noise, volume level, and tonal quality.
When it comes to breath/mouth noise it's generally best to move off the mic, or move the mic off-axis from your mouth. Anything that will keep you from breathing into it.
Volume is easy. Just speak louder. This will help with the tonality and lend something to getting rid of the feeling that there's no 'support' to your voice. Just speak up. A lot of voice submissions feel odd because the submitter isn't even speaking at a normal level, much less an elevated level that lends itself to clear recording with a minimum of background noise. The louder you are in relation to your background noise the better.
Alright mate, thanks for the advice. I really appreciate the feedback and I'll take that into consideration for the future.
You've got a pretty specific style of voice that can work well in a pretty wide variety of musical settings.
Even if it's not the strongest singing, I think it's pretty effective.
I'm not much of a vocalist so I can't be terribly specific in my critique. There's a variation or two in volume/tonality that almost sounds like you're changing position in relation to the mic.
Other than that I think you can definitely pursue vocal efforts with confidence that you won't make anyone's ears bleed.
Thank you very much :) I'll try to think of that the next time I record anything. :)
Feels very dry
Something about this track just seems very dry.
I think it can be attributed to the very stripped-down instrumentation (don't get me wrong, I love minimalism in music). But that overdriven synth could have a little more presence in the mid-range. I think that'd definitely help the texture.
Aside from that it's a nice little tune. Pretty straightforward and it gets its point across.
What do you mean by mid-range?
Work on your mic technique to minimize plosives issues. They're pretty prevalent throughout this piece.
Breath noise is something else to watch out for. You don't need to be speaking directly into the microphone, try setting it a bit off axis from your mouth, or investing in a pop filter (or making one from panythose.)
Why two versions.
I guess my first question is why you would release two versions of ostensibly the same work.
Bass drum feels very overpowering in this one. It literally buries your other percussion.
I like the piano lead a lot. I wish it had some more time to speak. The little glitches in the arps near the end don't translate as well with this instrumentation, I think.
Again though, it feels like the length is fighting you here. It's like you've just started touching on some tension and then the song's over and it resolves. I want to hear you push forward with those ideas for a while.
I also think this work could benefit a little from some study into silence. It's a solid minute of those arps running, with no rests or breaks.
So I guess what I'd like to see with this is:
- Extend it. Push into some tension and dissonance for a while
- Revisit your percussion/mixing. Four on the floor gets old quick
- Play with silence, or at least relative silence. Maybe give that piano lead some time to speak by itself, let those arps fade away. Some kind of variation. It just feels like you've crammed all of this into a very short period of time and it'd be more comfortable with some breathing space.
There's a lot of good stuff here, so don't take this as overly negative.
i have no idea how to fade, tbh this was the original version.
When it was rendered i chose to play around with certain other sounds untill i was content with it so thats why there are two versions, a casual and a VG like version instrumentwise.
I played with the hi hats and snares alone because i wanted to keep it a 80's beat, i didnt want it to turn into some rock percussion.
I have plenty of tracks with silence, this track is moreof based on the minimalistic rain i also used in butterfly.
Hmm, the reason its short is because 1: i cannot work on a track from another day and it was already really late in the morning when i finished (still had to sleep)
2: its just a intro theme really.
There are tracks on my repertoire that i would like to redo in fl8 sometime, this is is practically just warming up. :)
Thanks for your elaborate review.
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